Anger

It's been a long time since I wrote here...

When I have something to say, I am not in the mood to write

and when I am in the mood to write, I don't have anything to say. I cant exactly just write about what i had to say before, because the moment is gone...

This is going to be a sloppy one...

So, what's new? my long hair is now short. I got it cut on Friday cost me 3 dollars more than I expected; apparently they jacked up the price since I last went. Other than that, nothing new.

The past few weeks has been really weird for me. I don't know whats wrong, or what is causing it. All I know is that it's happening, and its rather annoying. I've been just really really pissed off at I don't know what. Anger all the time; easily provoked, and spontaneous.

I'm pissed off right now while writing this; at what, i have no idea...

I noticed in the last 2 weeks, I've get really easily annoyed and irritated after I have coffee. Doesn't make much sense considering that I drink coffee regularly prior to this, and I was completely fine.

All this anger, just keeps coming along, its even annoying me.

Staying angry isn't so healthy, even when there is something to be angry about, but I have nothing to be mad at, so this doesn't seem so good.

The only good thing is that I haven't done anything stupid... yet. I hope I won't.

I just want to break something, scream and yell, and just get this all out. But that's not so civilized.

Some people can read me really easily; I try to hide it the best I can. After all, it is no one around me that causes it; at least... I don't think so.

I don't think I'm stressed out. There isn't much for me to be stressed out about, nor should I be stressed out about it.

Fucking shitty ass weather today.

High of about 4 degrees with wet flurries in March....

They Are The World

This was written in October of 2009, but since this means a lot to me, I though I would repost this.

Yesterday (October 10th, 2009)was a big party, but mostly an early reunion of the Asians in York Mills. The party was hosted by both Gordon and Amy for the purpose of their birthdays. Happy birthday guys! They rented out an entire boat, and both food music and icebreaker games. It was lots of fun. I saw lots of old close friends that I haven’t seen in probably well over a month; it was even nice to see people who I didn’t really talk to much during high school. This led me to regret that I didn’t talk to them.

Either way, I probably still consider the people who I met in the first month of university, or even the ones who I haven’t talked to much in high school as friends. So, this led me to wonder what do friends mean to me, and what do friends mean to other people.

To me, friends are simple. Friends are people that I will be there for no matter what the situation is. And given that, I really do expect about the same back, perhaps not to the same degree simply because they not feel as strongly towards me as I do towards them. That does not matter though, because I am glad that there is a chance for them to be there for me when I need it; even if it is one in a million, there is still a chance. I cherish, love, and respect every single one of my friends. They do not just mean the world to me. They are they world to me. So the more friends I have, the broader I see the world.

Though I just saw most of them last night, as soon as we all parted, I felt the feeling of being left behind again. I guess that just simply means I already miss them.

When I offer to do something for a friend of mine, no matter how impractical it is for me, I don’t mind; simply because I offered. If I have offered, it means I do not mind. So if I offer to drive you home, though you live on the other side of the city, I don’t mind.

Friends do not just mean the world to me. Friends are the world to me.

Doesn’t matter I have known you for 2 days, or 2 months, or 2 years, or 2 decades. It would not change anything

UTSC

UTSC stands for University of Toronto Scarborough Campus. Which is the university that I attend.

Today is a Thursday (technically Friday, since its after 12AM but I still consider it as a Thursday) So my school starts at 2PM. First from 2 to 3, it is a Calculus tutorial, where we write a quiz, and get the quiz from the previous week back. The total of all the quizzes is worth 20% of our final mark. Last week's quiz I received 100%, which is pretty good. haha.

After the Calc tutorial, I had an actual calc class that lasts for 2 hours from 3 to 5pm. You would not believe how stupid, and how bad my stupid calc professor is. If I just told you that he is a stupid fat old balding prof, you would say, almost all profs are like that. No this one is an actual stupid, fat, old and balding prof. His teaching/lecturing method is so messed up. he does examples first then proceeds to tell us the theory and lastly what the entire method is called. That is the complete reverse of an ideal way to teach. Name, theory, example is the way to go.

We are doing partial differentiation right now in class. Today's lesson was all about implicit partial differentiation. I could swear, if you know how to do implicit differentiation, and partial differentiation, you can do implicit partial differentiation easily. It is seriously the same concept. My high school teacher taught us implicit differentiation in 1 lesson. The lessons were 1hour and 10 mins each. But, half of the class time was homework time. So essentially, he taught implicit differentiation in just over a half hour to grade 12 students. We are now in university, and this professor just happens to take 2 hours to explain implicit differentiation and examples.

When he writes things on the board, he ends up using his fat ass body to block out what he just wrote. He tries to explain and read out what he writes on the board as he writes it, but no one ever listens. Since no one listens, and we cannot see what he is writing, we end up talking. Then predictably, he complains about how loud we are.

His writing (assuming we can see it) is horrible! It takes us a few minutes to try to figure out what the fuck he just wrote on the board. No one bothers to ask what he wrote, cause we would end up spending well over half the class just asking "What is that you wrote over there on the third line, on the right board?"

This professor is such an idiot, and he is completely oblivious to his faults and our general complaints that it pisses me off so much.

Half way through today's lesson I was so pissed off I wanted to leave so bad because hes such a fucking dumbass. But I had to stay and finish most of the lesson. With about 15 mins left I asked my friends if they wanted to leave and go play volleyball. (Thursdays there is inter-house games for volleyball) They said they wanted to stay to finish up that last example. I tried to hold my seat, but with only 5 minuets left on the clock, I just couldn't take it anymore, so I packed my stuff and left for the gym and told my friends that I was leaving, and that I'll see them in the gym.

Volley ball is so much fun! I can't believe that I didn't do any sports in high school. Naturally, I am pretty bad at this sport, but I have improved quite a lot since I started playing about a week and a month ago. The game that we played was tied. After that, the nets were still up, so we just kept playing anyways, for fun. Diving for the ball, and saving it at the last second is so painful. I got a scrap on my elbow because of it. And I think I bruised my right hip. Haha

After volleyball, I went back to the ARC to chill, and kill some time as we were planning to go out for bubble tea later tonight. After quite a bit of time, at around 9:15 or so, we left to go to Destiny's at Kennedy And Steeles. In total I think there were about 12 of us of so. One of my friends that said wasn't going, ended up showing up in the end. Only because she loves bubble tea. We talked, chilled, played some hitting games, took pictures, and even did some magic tricks. It was alot of fun

We didn't leave Destiny's till about 12:15. Then after lots of good-byes, "bumps", hugs we all went our separate ways home.

All in all a terrific day.

I love all my friends at UTSC to limitless bounds =D

<3

Canada VS USA

Today was the men's hockey match for gold between Canada and USA. Naturally, I was rooting for Canada. the final score was 3 to 2, overtime, Canada won. The three goals that Canada scored were amazing, and nicely played. One of the goals that USA scored was luck. In my opinion, luck was favoring USA because their first goal was practically an accident, as one of their players tipped the puck after being shot, so the direction changed just a little bit and slipped threw the goalie. The other goal the scored was during the last minute of the game. They scored with 24 seconds left on the timer, just when we all thought that Canada had won just like that.

All in all, a very exciting game. I didn't watch it at a friend's house. I watched it by myself at home. Oh well. There might be something going on though, not sure, it's just a feeling that I'm getting. Then again, I get random feelings about everything here and there. so who knows.

Congrats Canada on the gold in men's hockey.